I merged into the left lane today. That was my crime. I thought I had plenty of space, I put my turn signal on, and moved over. Next thing I knew, the car behind me was right on top of my tail. When I looked in my rearview mirror, the woman at the steering wheel in the car behind me had hatred and anger in her eyes. I turned left, she turned left. I turned right, she turned right. I got in the left turn lane, she got in the left turn lane. At which point I had a scary feeling.
So I quickly got out of that lane and sped straight ahead. I heard horns honking and I looked in my rearview mirror to see that she had screeched out of that lane as well, burning rubber! She almost caused an accident trying to follow me. And then I realized… she was ACTUALLY following me! But why? What was she planning to do if she caught up to me? Clearly she wasn't happy with my merge into her lane.
I drove and drove for about five or six minutes when I realized a police station was around the corner. I drove into the police station parking lot and she followed me. It took her about five seconds to realize it was a police station, and she turned around to drive away. I sat there, pretty shaken up for a few more minutes, but not convinced that she wasn't waiting for me out on the street. So I proceeded to drive to another police station. This time, a bigger one.
Thankfully, due to the nature of my amazing career as a parenting coach 😊, I can work from anywhere! I parked in front of this police station, took out my stuff, and just started working. I watched, as I was comforted by the police cars driving to and fro, but she never came back. Thank G-d! However, it left me thinking hard for the rest of the day. This world is crazy enough, filled with anger and hatred already, how does a merge into a traffic lane cause all this?
This was a fellow woman, where WAS the sisterhood??? Mamas, we need to look out for each other, support each other, and not drag each other down. We need to cut other people some slack. We have to assume the best intentions. We should never assume that someone is trying to hurt us on purpose. Never take ANYTHING personally! Most of the time it has to do with the other person and nothing to do with you! (Agreement #2 of "The Four Agreements." Run, don't walk, to get this book!!!)
This translates perfectly to our parenting and to our children. Our kids are never intentionally trying to manipulate us, anger us, or torture us on purpose. Most people prefer to do well, to succeed, to have peace and happiness in their lives. They are just trying to meet their needs. I was simply trying to meet my needs today by merging into the left lane. I am so sorry if I cut it too close, but it was never my intention to anger you, my fellow sister.
My Prayer to All of You
My prayer for you is that you do not live the rest of your life filled with anger and hatred, or the assumption that everyone is out to get you. I hope you do not live with the assumption that people are slighting you on purpose, aspiring to get revenge. The truth is, if you live a life like that, you, and only YOU, are the one who ends up suffering. This suffering can then lead to hurting the people around you as well, even the most precious ones, your kids. I pray that if you do have children, you parent them from a place of love, trust, connection, and relationship, not from the fear I saw in your eyes today.
Choose love. Relinquish control. Learn to forgive. Not only with your children, but with everyone in your life. Even the person that merged into your lane a bit too closely. By the way dear one, I apologize, and I forgive you too. Life is way too short and precious to drive around aimlessly following a stranger in hopes of ...... what? Take a deep breath, gain some perspective, and learn to forgive.
Franklin D. Roosevelt said that we have nothing to fear but fear itself, "Nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance." It's suffocating and stifling.
What are your greatest fears when it comes to your parenting and your children?
Can you identify them, feel them, acknowledge them, figure out where they're coming from, if they are true or not, and let them go?
What would it feel like to let them go? Just try it, just for a moment (you can always get them back…😉)
Are you parenting from a place of fear, or a place of love and trust, connection and relationship? Which is working better for you?
Choose LOVE and Forgiveness
Can you relate to all of this? I once read a quick Facebook post about how if we had $86,400 in our bank account, and someone stole $7 from us, how would we react? My hope for you is that you’d be upset, take a breath, and forgive. You would realize that it is only $7 and not the other $85,393 in your account. There are 86,400 seconds in the day. Why let 7 seconds (a lane merge), ruin your whole day… Contact me today for a Complimentary Discovery Session call and we will discuss how I can help you choose love and learn forgiveness in your parenting!